The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.
One of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
tables gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about why people try to prevent smoking,
while
Linking Words
the other table illustrates the time they intend to give up smoking.
However
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the main reason for
stop
Replace the word
stopping
show examples
smoking is for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health in general,
while
Linking Words
the lowest proportion shows present health problems as the reason for
giveup
Correct your spelling
giving
.
Although
Linking Words
, 31% of people try to prevent smoking because of financial problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see that the total percentage that
intends
Correct subject-verb agreement
intend
show examples
to stop is 71%,
whereas
Linking Words
12% of smokers try to intend within the next month.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people say they will stop smoking within the next six months. 22% of the smokers who smoke more than 20 cigarettes per day try to intend within the next year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 29% say that they will not stop smoking.
Overall
Linking Words
, looking for more information, the reasons for
stop
Replace the word
stopping
show examples
smoking are health issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and financial and family problems.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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