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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

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Many claim that a child is expected to allocate time exclusively to their families, but others disagree and think it will lead to adverse consequences.
However
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, it is by no means necessary that children should spend the whole day with their parents, as we will see On the one hand, it may appear advisable for parents to set good examples and establish ground rules for behaviour by spending as much time as possible with their children.
For example
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, a toddler can learn how to show gratitude, treat everyone with courtesy and kindness, and make apologies when necessary at an early age by reflecting on their role models.
Furthermore
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, knowledge of social etiquette makes it easier for adolescents to hold a place in everyone’s affection,
thus
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 receiving a lot of bias and opportunities.
On the other hand
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, we have to ask whether
this
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 is a practical proposition or not. In a society where many families are either dual-income or one of them will go on a business trip for long periods, it’s less likely for the family to gather.
Therefore
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, they usually turn to child-minding and childcare centres to be in charge of upbringing, and if managed properly, these can be perfectly viable alternatives. Auditory skills,
for instance
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, are constantly strengthened in daycare since infants are incentivized to interact with their friends through joint activities and follow the teachers’ instructions. In conclusion, it appears that
while
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 family gatherings are essential for bonding and absorbing patterns of behaviour, there are definite advantages when children are outside the family too.
This
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 is provided that they are in a safe, well-behaved environment with peers who are themselves well-brought-up.

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Development of Ideas
Expand on your examples to provide a more detailed discussion. While you've given a general overview, deeper insights would enhance the clarity of your arguments.
Balanced Argument
Be mindful of generalizations. Try to balance your argument by acknowledging exceptions and variations in family situations or childcare quality.
Language Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. This will add sophistication to your writing.
Grammar Accuracy
Check for minor grammatical errors and ensure your pronouns and nouns agree to improve accuracy.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing a well-balanced discussion.
Intro and Conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that bookend your essay effectively, grounding your argument well.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples, such as the importance of social etiquette and opportunities in daycare, illustrate your points vividly.
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