IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries, children are spending more and more time playing by themselves and less time playing with other children. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #children #time #development
In many countries they have
children
 who tend to play by themselves,spending most of their time alone and showing less interaction with other scion.In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development which can lead to isolation,potentially harmful situations and
also
 problems later on in life. One serious problem that can arise from
children
's addiction to play on their own is that it can lead to isolation.After most mothers gave birth to babies,they don't want to give newborn babies to other people because of jealousy or even fear that their child may be stolen and it could continue till these babies grow up and become a child.
As a result
, offspring may grow up with the feeling of fear and desire to stay at home by themselves.Isolation of
this
 kind is not healthy and can sometimes lead to depression or even speechlessness as they do not interact with other kids. Another issue is that mental and physical problems of
children
 can be risky and challenging.
In other words
,playing in a group of kids could be beneficial for Scion's growth,
whereas
 entertaining alone would be hazardous in regards to their well-being,affecting their brain or even resulting in them becoming insane.
Furthermore
,as the interaction is lacking,parents
also
 could not be in contact with their
children
.
Finally
,less playing with their companions can end in difficulties years later as an ability to communicate and cooperate that had not been developed reappear.
This
 situation is currently critical for many people,again ,especially teenagers who are used to playing with themselves when they were kids.
Moreover
,people showing less interest in the adolescent community can be known as outcasts,who do not really speak , or contact and can
then
 resurface later on leading to too much embarrassment. In conclusion,
although
 it has become more popular for
children
 to play by themselves,it has brought about too many problems for
this
 to be considered a positive trend.
Submitted by arnakaldybai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: