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Writing Samples
Band 6

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibilities of teachers, while other thinks this is role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#discipline #schools #people #responsibilities #teachers #role #parents
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In the contemporary world, examples of misbehaviour are becoming more prevalent across education centres. Whilst certain individuals contend that education providers to be held accountable for the
discipline
 of
children
, others believe that
this
 responsibility falls on the shoulders of parents. It is my contention that
discipline
 cannot originate from one side alone, each plays a crucial role in the development of obedient individuals. First and foremost, unfortunately, the
behaviour
 that
children
 display at some
schools
 is intolerable and should not be undermined.
Children
's
behaviour
 can get exacerbated if they lack rudimentary parental supervision
while
 they are still maturing.
This
 is why it is worth noting that kids with single or no parents are inclined to become more rebellious. To illustrate, a majority of troublesome
children
 at
schools
 are the ones that either have one parent or no parent at all to
discipline
 them appropriately.
This
 highlights that parental guidance and supervision are paramount at young ages to maintain
discipline
 among
children
 in
schools
.
On the other hand
,
although
 the primary objective of school teachers is to educate juveniles, teaching them how to display good
behaviour
 has recently gained critical importance considering the intensified tendency of
children
 to cause disorder at
schools
.
For example
, there are
discipline
 workers at
schools
 who are responsible for ensuring everyone aligns with the school's rules and norms.
Moreover
, teachers are
also
 bearing a responsibility to
discipline
 their students by means of care and force when it is deemed necessary. In conclusion, a child's
discipline
 commences with parent supervision which should be
then
 followed by teachers at
schools
 in order to sustain
this
behaviour
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Structure and Planning
Develop a clear, logical structure by starting with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your viewpoint. Follow it with body paragraphs each discussing one side of the argument, and conclude with a summarised opinion.
Linking Words
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are more explicit about your stance on the issue. A clear thesis statement helps guide the reader through your argument.
Supporting Evidence
Deepen your argument with more detailed examples. Specific, real-world cases enhance the persuasiveness of your points.
Task Response
For Task Achievement, aim to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue in depth before presenting a well-supported conclusion. Ensure each paragraph contributes effectively to your overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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