The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of the most crucial aspects when choosing an occupation is having a high salary.
Although
there is some truth that people have become more care about incomes, it is not true that it is the only reason for selecting a
job
. It is important to have good earnings for several reasons. One of them is to enhance living standards, despite some uncomfortable issues with their current
job
. The more money they earn, the more happy their family members are. People with higher income may have a chance to reach any best service
such
as medical or entertainment.
For example
, research focusing on the wealthiest class of society, all of them have problems with their work;
however
, no one quit their
job
because of the enormous wages that help them improve their living quality.
On the other hand
, wage should not be the only thing considered when having an occupation. Working environment and career satisfaction must be paid attention to, these two aspects are essential for anyone to deeply
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
to their company. If an enterprise provides its employees with both good working conditions and
job
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
, it will have the most effectiveness in its work.
For instance
, research indicates that two-thirds of staff will stay with the company even with the low salary if the company provides them happiness when working. In conclusion, income is crucial for anybody when selecting a
job
, I consider being pleasurable and comfortable with their work has more positives. Rather than choosing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
high earnings unconditionally, people should choose their favourite position, working as hard as they can and the fee will increase naturally
Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on

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task response
It is important to provide a clear and direct response to the task question. Make sure to express your opinion on the extent to which you agree or disagree with the idea that high income is the most important consideration when choosing a career or job. Additionally, provide a preview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect related to the importance of high income when choosing a job. However, make sure to use transition words and phrases to create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is effective, with a good range of vocabulary used to express your ideas. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider using a wider variety of academic vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammatical range is satisfactory. However, there are some minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure to improve the precision and accuracy of your writing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
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