IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
The map displays a public
park
 called Grange
Park
 when it
initially
 opened in 1920, and how it looks now.
Overall
, the
park
 layout has been updated to include modern facilities, which have replaced some natural features. The updates have improved the
park
's accessibility and functionality. The two entrances on Arnold Avenue and
Eldon
Street
 have remained unchanged.
However
, the
park
 now has an underground car
park
, and a right-side entrance from
Eldon
Street
 was constructed for car
park
 users. Once inside the
park
 from
Eldon
Street
, the central
feature
 used to be a fountain, which has now been replaced by a rose garden surrounded by seats. To the right of the
Eldon
Street
 entrance, a water
feature
 has been added, taking the place of the previous glasshouse and seating area. A café and children's play area now occupy the space where the rose garden and water plants' pound used to be, opposite the water
feature
. The
park
's left side, which previously housed a stage for musicians, now features an amphitheatre. The only unchanged
feature
 in
this
 area is the rose garden on the Arnold Avenue side.
Submitted by sprindy.liu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: