The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

The ability of the masses to imitate their fellows or role models is well-known in certain fields like ways of dressing or purchasing new products. I completely agree with the statement and the same
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, business firms pay millions of dollars to celebrities for advertising their products to enhance their sales since they are aware of the human nature of copying. To put it forth, people purchase goods merely by watching adverts, in fact, a few of them pay attention to the pros and cons of the product if it has been promoted by their favourite artist since they want to copy their lifestyle.
Moreover
, youngsters frequently purchase equipment, when they find their companions are operating it.
For instance
, parents often have to buy goods for their wards, when they insist their friends have been using them as they conveniently got influenced by it.
Furthermore
, fashion designers need to organise ramp walks to improve the profit margins of their attires.
In other words
, eminent fashion designers set up fashion shows to launch their latest collections or innovations and they hire well-known personalities as they are aware that the public would imitate them.
Apart from
this
, they frequently offer their dresses to well-known actors or actresses for various functions of their family to promote their brands as they
knew
Wrong verb form
know
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people would definitely want to look the best in their weddings as their role models.
For example
, it has been observed that artists' important events are sponsored by eminent brands and they could wear beautiful and expensive dresses merely by adding their names in captions of their pictures,
therefore
, the public would purchase clothes from the same designer to look like them. In conclusion, adults and kids are influenced by their companions or celebrities conveniently and they
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
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similar things, as a repercussion, businessmen
took
Wrong verb form
take
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advantage of their habit and pay well-known personalities to do promotion of their goods.
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task response
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear structure to the essay. However, some points lack development and there is a need for more detailed elaboration on specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical progression of ideas, with effective use of linking words and cohesive devices. However, there is room for improvement in the development of some supporting details to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
The essay shows good use of vocabulary and idiomatic language. However, there is a need to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good control of grammar with relatively few errors. However, there is a need to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and more complex sentence constructions to enhance grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • conform
  • social norms
  • evolutionary psychology
  • survival
  • advertising
  • influencer marketing
  • celebrity endorsements
  • trends
  • followers
  • psychological comfort
  • social ostracism
  • mass production
  • high-end fashion
  • uniformity
  • cultural homogenization
  • globalization
  • media
  • spread
  • affordable
  • imitate
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