People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As life expectancy considerably extends, some people harbour a belief that maintaining a high quality of

health

Use synonyms

is more likely a personal obligation to society than individual well-being. I am inclined to stand with the statement. A discussion of

this

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issue

as well as

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my thoughts will be highlighted in the write-up.

Initially

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, one of the main arguments in its favour is that

health

Use synonyms

problems are no longer private issues to citizens especially in population ageing cities since they have influenced social development.

Due to

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the growth of the elderly proportion, the government should involve more expenditure on aged care. If senior individuals can primarily take the duty of looking after their bodies for not only the sake of their own advantages but

also

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for communal profits, the burden of ageing nursing can be alleviated to a certain degree. At the other end of the spectrum, the body conditions of the young and prime-age population play vital roles in public progress as well. When adults implement responsibilities to maintain kids’

health

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, it will save governmental costs in relevant areas.

Besides

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, prime-age people are the pivotal productivity in job markets and great body maintenance is the basic requirement for a productive environment.

Therefore

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, their awareness of keeping healthy will strictly impact the financial expense and the economic enhancement.

To sum up

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according to

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the aforementioned, residents’

health

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is the foundation of a country which comprehensively influences future development.

Hence

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, taking care of oneself is a self-duty and has a beneficial effect on social growth when resources have a better distribution

due to

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the virtue of the crowds’ healthy control.

Submitted by s99104032 on Sun Aug 20 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your main points are well-supported with evidence or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, students take a year off finishing school should students take a gap year before attending university? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?