in some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. what whould you think the causes, and what measures could be taken to solve them

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In contemporary society, unhealthy lifestyles have become increasingly prominent. Given

this

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, some argue that

this

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conundrum causes a decrease in cardiovascular fitness.

This

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trend can be primarily attributed to bad eating habits,

however

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, proper

awareness

Use synonyms

might alleviate

this

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problem.

Thus

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this

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essay aims to explore the causes and solutions to

this

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phenomenon. It is essential to acknowledge that obesity has become a significant problem in modern society; fundamentally caused by a poor diet.

For instance

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, a recent study conducted by Medicare revealed that 80% of their heart patients are overweight.

Furthermore

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, today's fast-paced society enjoys the unparalleled convenience that fast-food restaurants and takeaway meals bring.

However

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, preservatives and improper nutrients are in these meals, which is the reason why so many individuals are gaining weight.

Therefore

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, it is evident that bad eating routines are the main cause of obesity. Despite

this

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, adequate

awareness

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

this

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matter might prove to be a solid solution.

For instance

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, the World Health Organization uses 25% of its funds to promote healthy life choices through proper advertisement.

Additionally

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, advertisements can inform individuals about the numerous health risks that can occur if overweight and not exercising enough.

Moreover

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, adverts can persuade people to participate in healthy lifestyles and to be more active.

Hence

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, adequate

awareness

Use synonyms

might be a plausible solution to

this

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conundrum. In conclusion,

while

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it is noted that improper eating habits cause obesity, worldwide

awareness

Use synonyms

might solve

this

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problem.

Thus

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, it is my contention that if people decide to pursue a healthy lifestyle,

then

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fewer people

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be overweight.

jessicajreichelMon Apr 08 2024

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Coherence Cohesion

Continue using clear structure in your essays, with well-defined paragraphs and transitions for excellent coherence and cohesion. Further enhancement can be achieved by diversifying linking words and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt with clear and comprehensive ideas, supported by relevant examples. To enhance your score, aim to include a wider range of specific, real-world examples and statistics to support your arguments.

Structure

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, presenting your argument and summarising your main points.

Support

Your main points are well supported and structured, which strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.

Task Response

You have clearly addressed the essay prompt, providing a thoughtful analysis of the causes and solutions to the issue at hand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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in some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. what whould you think the causes, and what measures could be taken to solve them

Your opinion

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a significant advancement in AI and automation technologies. Some argue that these technologies will lead to widespread job displacement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

You have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - explain the important event - apologise for the situation - suggest a new arrangement

Some people say that the bicycle is a good means of transport. Others say that the bicycle has many disadvantages. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?