IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cuties. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cuties. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
#bar #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cuties #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar graph gives the information about proportion of
city
Use synonyms
 residents
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying drinking tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 in five different Australian cities during the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
However
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of citizens who went to cafes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 week is the highest,
while
Linking Words
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 took the second place in four countries,
instead
Linking Words
 of Adelaide. Though, the lowest proportion of residents bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Brisbane has the least amount of people who bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 in fresh,
whereas
Linking Words
 Syndey has the greatest amount. Melbourne is the
city
Use synonyms
 with people who often went to a cafe in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 month at 60%. 54% of the civilians in Hobart
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 had bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 within the past 30 days. Melbourne is the second greatest
city
Use synonyms
 with the value of citizens
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the difference between people who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and went to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cafe in Adelaide is 1%. In ,Brisbane 33% of residents had bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by skn  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, coffee, instant with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: