IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line graph and bar chart illustrate the average monthly rainfall and temperature in one area of East Africa.

The line graph and bar chart illustrate the average monthly
rainfall
Use synonyms
 and
temperature
Use synonyms
 in one area of East Africa.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are
months
Use synonyms
 when high
temperature
Use synonyms
 relates to extremely high rains;
however
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 times when these figures are different.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
months
Use synonyms
 with low and high precipitation is equal. In terms of
rainfall
Use synonyms
, the most
rainfall
Use synonyms
 month is April, with around 270
millimetres
Use synonyms
. The second most
rainfall
Use synonyms
 month is November, with 150
millimetres
Use synonyms
, which makes it slightly more
rainfall
Use synonyms
 than October and May, with 149 and 148
millimetres
Use synonyms
 respectively. The other
months
Use synonyms
 have a small number of precipitations (around 30
millimetres
Use synonyms
), except
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 March (100
millimetres
Use synonyms
) and December (50
millimetres
Use synonyms
). With regards to
temperature
Use synonyms
, there are high figures in March (24
C
Use synonyms
) and October (23.5). Data reflects that June, July and August have the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
, at around 20
C
Use synonyms
, so the
rainfall
Use synonyms
 level is
also
Linking Words
 low in these
months
Use synonyms
, just under 20
millimetres
Use synonyms
. During August and October, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 sharply increases from 20
C
Use synonyms
 to 23.5
C
Use synonyms
. There is a slight decline in
temperature
Use synonyms
 from March to July (24
C
Use synonyms
 to 20
C
Use synonyms
).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rainfall, temperature, months, millimetres, c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: