IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays governments are investing more in public transport such as buses and trains rather than in building new roads. What are reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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The current administrations are focusing more on general transportation rather than constructing new
roads
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 .Because of increased demand . in my opinion, it is a good development because, as the sum of individuals using public travel increases , the total of other vehicles is expected to reduce on the
roads
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 .
As a result
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,
traffic
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 will be reduced eventually benefitting the environment .
Firstly
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 , as the proportion of people depending on public facilities increases , public transport is becoming more tedious , because of the huge rush . It is a common site in metros and public buses that persons are piled up on each other during the journey .
As a result
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, accidents are
also
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 being reported . In India, it is regular that mishaps occur during crowded public journeys .
This
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 is the reason the administration is investing more in trains and buses . so that their citizens can travel in comfort .In India, a large amount of electric buses and trains have been introduced recently
Furthermore
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 ,
this
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 increase in public travel reduces the amount of cars on the road .
This
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 decline in vehicles on the
roads
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 will help in reducing the
traffic
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 blocks which are very common in almost all major towns .
This
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 reduction in
traffic
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 eventually reduces the pollution created by automobiles .
Therefore
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, the environment will benefit in the long run .
To conclude
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 , the administration's investment in public transportation currently ,
due to
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 the increased demand , is a positive development . Because it reduces the
traffic
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 blocks on the
roads
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 and eventually benefits the environment

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language
Proofread your essay for punctuation and grammatical errors. For example, 'Because of increased demand . in my opinion' should be 'Because of increased demand. In my opinion' and 'persons are piled up on each other during the journey' should be 'people are piled up on each other during the journey'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the reasons are more clearly stated in the introduction. It's slightly abrupt; try to introduce reasons subtly to create a smoother flow from the introduction to the main body.
task achievement
Improve on providing relevant specific examples. The example regarding India is useful but could be expanded upon with additional examples or data points for a better impact.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic clearly, explaining why governments are investing more in public transport and what the benefits are. This ensures task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logically organized with each paragraph having a clear focus.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay arguments, reinforcing the stance that the development is positive.
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