some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #dou #wtih

It is believed that

music

helps to connect

people

regardless of culture and age. I believe

that is

because of its ability to evoke emotions and create a form of bond among the masses.

This

essay agrees with

this

Statement and will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.

To begin

with, it is evident that

music

evokes the senses and emotions of

people

without any barriers .

That is

to say that there is no language required for

music

in order to be able to enjoy it because folks can get lost in beautiful rhythms and lyrics which helps them to connect by forming an emotional bond.

For instance

, a recent pop concert in Canada welcomed a million fans from different cultures and religions even though the host was one of the popular playback singers from the country India, Tamil Nadu.

Therefore

such

shows bind

people

together and act as community hubs regardless of customs and norms.

Additionally

music

can communicate many things that words cannot.

In other words

, it has the ability to stimulate emotional and mental feelings against the strings which aids folks to forget their everyday troubles.

Moreover

people

are addicted to

such

music

to feel relaxed and rejuvenated ,

therefore

, as long as they like the style of the tune ,they prefer to listen to it without giving importance to tradition or culture.

For example

, my mother prefers English songs because she enjoys the way that different musical instruments are used in Western plays. In conclusion, it is trusted that

music

is the best way to gather the masses from different traditions and all generations. I do agree with

this

statement because there are no obstacles when it comes to

music

which promotes mood and reduces stress.

Submitted by jeeanay on Thu Dec 07 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve on coherence and cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are well-structured and each paragraph should have a clear central idea with sentences that are logically connected to that central idea. It's beneficial to use a range of linking words, but be cautious of overuse or misuse, which can reduce the clarity of your arguments.

Task Achievement

In addressing the task, make sure to fully develop your position with a clear opinion throughout the essay. While your essay does cover the topic, providing more varied and specific examples can strengthen the task achievement. Aim to elaborate on illustrations from diverse contexts to fully answer the question posed.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?