Some people argue that government should spend on their money elderly people care. However, other people say that government should focus more education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A group of individuals present the view that the administration should consider a budget for taking care of elderly
people
,
whereas
others believe that the education of the young generation is more important. I strongly agree with the former opinion, and I am going to discuss my view in the following essay. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that the old generation has spent their youth time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developing their country.
Therefore
they would expect that the government assist them when they have become retired,
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
free health care services and special deposits for travelling are
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same programs that each state can do for thankfully elderly
people
.
Additionally
, spending money on elderly
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
care plays a vital role in the welfare rate of each nation which has a direct relationship with migration. All
people
tend to work and live in a country in which old
people
are supported by their government as at that time they need more attention and help for doing their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
like shopping, driving and so on.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: