some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A significant number of individuals believe that young people's ability to compete should be cultivated.

However

Linking Words

, another portion of the population prefers to educate toddlers on how to work in teams and groups.As

this

Linking Words

skill makes them more productive in society.

To begin

Linking Words

with the positive side, the first and foremost point is that collaboration makes the youth stress free and raises their self-esteem.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, mutual understanding promotes humanity among juveniles and generates different optimistic ideas on a common point. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

this

Linking Words

aptitude provides them with an opportunity to express their opinion with confidence.

Hence

Linking Words

, the juniors learn teamwork rather than competition. They become great leaders who utilize manpower

according to

Linking Words

everyone's abilities.

This

Linking Words

is more beneficial for social order.In 2022, THE UNIVERSITY OF HARIPUR PAKISTAN published research whose results have shown that children who engage in cooperative activities tend to develop better interpersonal skills, communication abilities, and a positive attitude towards working together.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, competitive children might exhibit higher levels of motivation to achieve individual goals but could

also

Linking Words

display behaviours

such

Linking Words

as heightened stress, jealousy, and a win-at-all-costs attitude.Day by day their negative thoughts are covered into a narcissistic personality

that is

Linking Words

harmful to citizens. ,

Linking Words

Nevertheless

Add a comma

,Nevertheless

show examples

Overly competitive individuals might struggle with teamwork and collaboration, as they prioritize personal success over collective goals.

This

Linking Words

mindset could

also

Linking Words

strain relationships and hinder personal growth

due to

Linking Words

a focus solely on outdoing others. In a nutshell, It's important to note that a balanced approach, where children learn both cooperation and healthy competition, can help them develop a well-rounded set of skills for different social contexts.I absolutely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement that offspring must be learnt to team up talent comparatively unhealthy competition dexterity.

Submitted by khuzaimasaeed01 on Sun Aug 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Nowadays, there are many reasons environmental pollution. What are causes and solution?
These days, there are a lot of reasons for the environmental pollution. The causes of the environmental pollution are people do not dump wastes at the right place, and the government cannot manage wastes properly. The solutions to this problem are people should dump wastes at the right place, and the government should take necessary steps to manage those wastes.
<4
band
Society is based om rules and laws.If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do,it could not function To what extend do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
To function as a community, rules and laws are needed. Some critics argue that if the people have absolute freedom, it could not worked. I strongly believe that having rules and laws helps us to build a strong functionable society.
4.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people; however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that other types of progress are very important for a country. While there are some reasons why this is the cause, I believe that it is the most important aim for a country to have other types of progress than economic progress.
5.5
band
Education is not luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?
Schooling is a fundemental right of people, despite their financial backgrounds are wealthy or poor. This essay agrees with this statement and reasons are explained below.
8.5
band
Due to poorer countries experiecing a 'brain drain' they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with these situations?
The migration of skilled professionals from poorer nations has been exacerbated. Nevertheless, this issue could be addressed by providing better educational programs and improved welfare.

some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, there are many reasons environmental pollution. What are causes and solution?

Society is based om rules and laws.If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do,it could not function To what extend do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Education is not luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

Due to poorer countries experiecing a 'brain drain' they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with these situations?