some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.

A significant number of individuals believe that young people's ability to compete should be cultivated.
However
, another portion of the population prefers to educate toddlers on how to work in teams and groups.As
this
skill makes them more productive in society.
To begin
with the positive side, the first and foremost point is that collaboration makes the youth stress free and raises their self-esteem.
Furthermore
, mutual understanding promotes humanity among juveniles and generates different optimistic ideas on a common point. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
this
aptitude provides them with an opportunity to express their opinion with confidence.
Hence
, the juniors learn teamwork rather than competition. They become great leaders who utilize manpower
according to
everyone's abilities.
This
is more beneficial for social order.In 2022, THE UNIVERSITY OF HARIPUR PAKISTAN published research whose results have shown that children who engage in cooperative activities tend to develop better interpersonal skills, communication abilities, and a positive attitude towards working together.
On the other hand
, competitive children might exhibit higher levels of motivation to achieve individual goals but could
also
display behaviours
such
as heightened stress, jealousy, and a win-at-all-costs attitude.Day by day their negative thoughts are covered into a narcissistic personality
that is
harmful to citizens. ,
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
Overly competitive individuals might struggle with teamwork and collaboration, as they prioritize personal success over collective goals.
This
mindset could
also
strain relationships and hinder personal growth
due to
a focus solely on outdoing others. In a nutshell, It's important to note that a balanced approach, where children learn both cooperation and healthy competition, can help them develop a well-rounded set of skills for different social contexts.I absolutely agree with
this
statement that offspring must be learnt to team up talent comparatively unhealthy competition dexterity.
Submitted by khuzaimasaeed01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: