You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement. Write a letter to accommodation officer regarding this. - Describe the situation - Explain the problem and why it is difficult to work. - Say what kind of accommodation you prefer.

#room #college #student #arrangement #accommodation #officer #situation #work

Dear Sir or Madam, Allow me to introduce myself, my name is William and I am

third-year

Add an article

a third-year

show examples

business student. I am writing

this

letter regarding my dorm problems. Allow me to explain the details.

To begin

with, I am living in Ducati's Dorm

with

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show examples

room

number 321 since the first day of college. During my study, I usually

using

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

this

room

with no problems

occurs

Wrong verb form

occurring

show examples

with

Change the article

the previous

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person

although

I had to work after my study.

Furthermore

, I

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

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worked from 5 PM to 9 PM on weekdays in

cafe

Add an article

a cafe

the cafe

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near the university.

On the other hand

, my current sharing

room

makes me hard to work, because he always

watching

Wrong verb form

watches

show examples

online streaming

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

show examples

loudly.

During

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

situation, I already discuss with him about my schedule and ask him to lower the sound of

video

Correct article usage

the video

show examples

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

headphone

Fix the agreement mistake

headphones

show examples

while

watching the video. Unfortunately, He didn't take any responses to

this

issue. I'd

Add the particle

tolike

show examples

ask for your help

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

situation. I'm looking forward to

resolve

Change the verb form

resolving

show examples

this

matter by changing my roommate or moving me to

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

room

. Yours Faithfully, William

Submitted by wilztan6700 on Mon Aug 21 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

179 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause? What can be done to deal with this.

some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibilty to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?