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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, many young people do not spend their weekends and holidays doing outdoor activities such as hiking or mountaineering. Why is this the case? How can they be encouraged to spend more time in the natural environment? Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
In society, life has changed a great deal, especially in how nation spend.
This
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 includes the weekend activity. Some positive population believe that the outdoor is common.
However
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, negative people believe that the indoor is difficult.
Thus
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, both views have significant points.
This
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 assay will provide key information to explore the topic.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, in terms of the advantages,
according to
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 the primary view,
according to
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 the given information, there are many significant benefits.
First,
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according to
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 the Kuwait City Report, 90% of positive society prefer outdoor. The open movement is the prime example.
This
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 is
due to
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 many positive reasons.
Second,
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health impact is a major significant reason.
As a result
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, the mood becomes happy.
This
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 will increase the blood balance.
Although
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 the outdoor action is perfect, public prefer the outdoor action.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, in terms of the disadvantages,
according to
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 the secondary view,
according to
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 the given data, there are major dramatic drawbacks.
Firstly
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,
according to
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 the Kuwait Future report, 60% of negative community prefer indoor.
In addition
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, they do not prefer the activities.
For example
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, the home environment .
As a result
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 , the health is down.
This
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 will increase the dark mood.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
according to
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 the advantages and disadvantages, in terms of the given data,
according to
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 the main report. There are many significant benefits.
However
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, there are major harmful points.
Thus
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, both views have significant marks.
Hence
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, the government recommends young nation follow the right tips for positive results and best life.

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task response
Answer both parts of the question. Explain why young people stay indoors, such as phone use, games, study, work, cost, and lack of safe green space. Then give clear ways to help them spend more time outside.
task response
Do not write about two views, because the task does not ask for this. Write one main idea for each cause and each way to help, then explain it.
task response
Use real and clear examples. Do not add reports or numbers unless the question gives them. For example, schools can run low-cost walks, and towns can make parks safe and easy to reach.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction; reasons; ways to help; conclusion. This will make your answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. Some sentences now repeat words such as "according to" and "significant" but do not add meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a clear way: "One reason is...", "Another reason is...", "To change this...", and "For example...". Check that each sentence has a clear meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use the right words for the topic. Say "young people", "outdoor activities", "nature", and "indoor activities". Avoid unclear word groups such as "positive society" and "blood balance".
task response
You try to discuss both outdoor and indoor time, and you include health as a reason.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. You also use linking words such as "On the one hand" and "In conclusion".
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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