IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is undeniable that nowadays, citizens claim
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 clothes
people
Use synonyms
put on
Verb problem
wear
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 are definitely an essential sign of how they behave.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others argue that societies/
someone
Check wording
individuals
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 should not be
criticized
Change the spelling
criticised
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 for the outfit they dress in.
This
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 essay will dive deeply into the topic in order to provide both ideas and present the writer’s opinion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 probably think that an outfit reflects your personality and attitude. In
this
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 respect, those who work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 at institutions and
an
Correct article usage
apply
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 in a corporation will be assumed as educated
people
Use synonyms
. Societies would probably consider that they are literate figures who graduated from a reputable university. They would be judged as a well-rounded person. To elucidate
further
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, when educators put on their formal uniform in the school, every parent will be delighted to send their children to that school since they trust their offspring will have a good personality and attitude, at least knowing how to
garb
Verb problem
dress
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 well at school since they imitate their tutors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, citizens cannot judge other
public from
Check wording
people based on
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 their dress code, because it does not mean that they have a bad attitude or something like that.
For instance
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, among Chinese who reside in Indonesia, the vast majority tend to wear simple outfits
such
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 as shorts and shirts
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are usually associated with low-income
people
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
people
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 outside do not know how wealthy they are since they focus on investing their money rather than spending it
by
Change preposition
on
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 purchasing fashionable dress codes. Another example is related to sex workers since they usually wear revealing clothes.
This
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 is unacceptable in societies
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 their job is wrong
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 we cannot blame them since
this
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 profession has another purpose
like
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, like
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 supporting their family life. In conclusion, I highly admit that clothing is one of the most crucial things because the outfit mostly represents their
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
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 and what occupation they have.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in certain cases, we cannot judge
people
Use synonyms
 by their appearances.

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grammar
Work on short and clear sentences. Break long lines into smaller parts.
structure
Give clear main ideas in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence.
content
Explain ideas with better examples that always relate to the topic. Avoid odd or unfair examples.
task
Make your own view clear in the last paragraph and keep balance between sides.
lexical
Use simple word choice. Prefer common words over rare or fancy terms.
structure
Essay has clear structure: intro, two body paras, and conclusion.
coherence
Uses linking phrases to show contrast (On the one hand / On the other hand).
content
Shows attempt to present both sides and give a view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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