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Band 6

It is crucial for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #squares #parks
In
this
 modern era,
due to
 the development of
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 the extinction of
parks
 and other public spaces are getting surged. I agree with the statement that gardens and public squares are crucial
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
cities
.
To begin
 with, there are numerous benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having green
parks
 and squares in developing
cities
. Breathing fresh
air
 plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role for all the citizens, to reduce the
air
 by planting more trees and construction of
parks
 are must in all
cities
.
Moreover
, the
air
 is getting polluted
due to
 more construction of industries
due to
this
 large extent of gas is released which is harmful for residents living in those areas. Another reason
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 more production of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 which
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 more usage of it by which unnecessarily
air
 is getting polluted which disturbs the environment so having greenery and huge public spaces would be useful.
For example
, In India, the state named Delhi is known as
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
 most populated because in the past an incident occurred about the flats which got destroyed
due to
 some reasons and
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to some airborne particles in the
air
 till today. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, employees who have to be consistent
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their work by completing
task
Add an article
the task
a task
show examples
 before
deadline
Correct article usage
the deadline
show examples
 and
compete
Wrong verb form
competing
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
rivalry
Replace the word
rival
show examples
 companies which creates cut-throat competition among them leads to more stress,
pressure
Correct word choice
and pressure
show examples
 as hectic days by spending more hours on their work
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to relax and have some leisure time, unwind their stress maximum gardens should be added
in particular
 towns or
cities
.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens can
also
 visit
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
 as it is necessary to remain physically and mentally healthy.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children are glued to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
due to
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 digital era as the public
parks
 and squares are being wiped out
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 children in lack of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For example
, now in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 a rule is passed by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to have at least one public park in each area of their downtown
cities
. In conclusion, public spaces will bring
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of advantages for people’s health
due to
 higher population level and boost
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their stress and many other factors are included.
Submitted by pooja22nov on

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