Some people think the Olympic Games is an exciting event which can bring nations together. Other people think Olympic Games is a way for people to waste money that could be used for other events. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The question of whether the Olympic Games actually bring cohesion has sparked heated debate. Proponents claim that competition between different nations fundamentally enhances national unity.
While some
argue that it is merely a waste of money and possibly squeezes resources planned for other events. In the essay, I will elucidate in more detail both standpoints and give my personal opinions.
First of all, Opponents usually emphasize that the Correct word choice
Some
Olympics
has
no intrinsic value and Correct subject-verb agreement
have
further
occupy the financial budget for other activities. The stadium specialized for the Olympics
, for example
, was ultimately left unused since there is
no substantial maintenance fee from the government. Wrong verb form
was
As a consequence
, many countries faced considerable economic burdens after hosting the activity, and eventually have
no funding to support other projects. Irrefutably, these worries have solid ground.
Wrong verb form
had
On the other hand
, supporters believe that such
athletic events build national confidence and bring people together. Every four years, starting with an enthusiastic welcome, individuals watch intensive competitions including, baseball, basketball or other sports, and offer sincere support for the national team. In this
way, they are sharing the same topic and cheering for the same team in terms of constructing close bonding
with each other. Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
Therefore
, it is true that the Olympics
builds strong relationships.
In conclusion, both statements are valid depending on the actual situation. In my viewpoint, the government should evaluate its financial status before its decision to host the Olympics
and make sure there will not be negative impacts on other ongoing plans. If the financial condition is allowed, this
gigantic program then
shall be built. From another perspective, the federal body could Rephrase
apply
also
calculate the potential tourism revenue to persuade taxpayers to advocate the plan.Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on
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task response
Ensure a precise and clear stance is maintained throughout the essay. Expand upon the reasons behind your opinion and provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay demonstrates good coherence and organization, consider using more cohesive devices to better link ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures, use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses to ensure more accuracy and complexity in grammar.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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