Some people think the Olympic Games is an exciting event which can bring nations together. Other people think Olympic Games is a way for people to waste money that could be used for other events. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The question of whether the Olympic Games actually bring cohesion has sparked heated debate. Proponents claim that competition between different nations fundamentally enhances national unity.
While some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
argue that it is merely a waste of money and possibly squeezes resources planned for other events. In the essay, I will elucidate in more detail both standpoints and give my personal opinions. First of all, Opponents usually emphasize that the
Olympics
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
no intrinsic value and
further
occupy the financial budget for other activities. The stadium specialized for the
Olympics
,
for example
, was ultimately left unused since there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
no substantial maintenance fee from the government.
As a consequence
, many countries faced considerable economic burdens after hosting the activity, and eventually
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
no funding to support other projects. Irrefutably, these worries have solid ground.
On the other hand
, supporters believe that
such
athletic events build national confidence and bring people together. Every four years, starting with an enthusiastic welcome, individuals watch intensive competitions including, baseball, basketball or other sports, and offer sincere support for the national team. In
this
way, they are sharing the same topic and cheering for the same team in terms of constructing close
bonding
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
with each other.
Therefore
, it is true that the
Olympics
builds strong relationships. In conclusion, both statements are valid depending on the actual situation. In my viewpoint, the government should evaluate its financial status before its decision to host the
Olympics
and make sure there will not be negative impacts on other ongoing plans. If the financial condition is allowed,
this
gigantic program
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
shall be built. From another perspective, the federal body could
also
calculate the potential tourism revenue to persuade taxpayers to advocate the plan.
Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure a precise and clear stance is maintained throughout the essay. Expand upon the reasons behind your opinion and provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay demonstrates good coherence and organization, consider using more cohesive devices to better link ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.
lexical resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures, use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses to ensure more accuracy and complexity in grammar.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global unity
  • Nationalism
  • Sportsmanship
  • Economic benefits
  • Tourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Investments
  • Opportunity cost
  • Public services
  • Environmental impact
  • Sustainability
  • Cultural festivals
  • Global forums
  • Financial planning
  • Responsible
What to do next:
Look at other essays: