IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #health #person #services #companies #care
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This
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 is true that healing supports ought not to be used by private businesses since keeping fit plays a vital role
to
Change preposition
for
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 each individual and
no-one
Correct your spelling
no one
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 can not guarantee the morality of private healthcare. In my opinion, the benefits seem to
spend
Verb problem
be
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higher
Add an article
a higher
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 amount than the drawbacks and make it acceptable to most of the public. Following an original instinct, the public often
seek
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seeks
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for
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apply
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personal health protection with less waiting time and patients want to have their own room,
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 personal doctor,
better
Correct word choice
and better
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 hospital equipment,...
that is
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 the first good point of private medical management, as it offers an opportunity to the human that has enough money to access a premium service which will help increase the happiness of the citizens.
Secondly
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, the company is often smaller and easier to operate than state hospitals.
Therefore
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, they are able to invest the revenue
on
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in
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 research and development of facilities and technologies
such
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 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
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 hospital equipment,
therapy
Correct word choice
and therapy
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 care
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
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,...so as to keep people’s energy safe and gain trust and reputation from customers.
As a result
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,
this
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 leads to the improvement of
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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 care structure and will be
reachable
Correct word choice
accessible
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by
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to
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 the poor. In a word,
it is clear that
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 the pros of nonpublic businesses providing standard and immediate treatments outweigh the cons of high-priced treatments.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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