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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below provide information about the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

The pie charts below provide information about the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
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The pie charts below provide information about the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
 we can see three basic general trends. As regards the
first,
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in 1990 there were 45% with higher education,
while
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 in 1980 it was only
thirty five
Add a hyphen
thirty-five
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Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, but in
2000s
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the 2000s
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 it dropped to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 there are fewer differences in environmental services. It was nine
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2000, 4
percen
Correct your spelling
per cent
 in 1990 and 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980. The most striking difference in the data for transportation was that in
1980s
Change the article
the 1980s
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 and 2000s it was sixteen and
twenty two
Add a hyphen
twenty-two
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 it decreased to six
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, in education the patterns are almost similar, it shows 25 in 1080, twenty in 1990 and eighteen
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2000. The figures for health and human resources
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 fourteen at the beginning,
then
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 increased up to 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 went down to
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
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 (10%). It can be clearly observed that people with higher education
trended
Correct your spelling
tended
show examples
 to be better off than other facilities.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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