Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

the contemporary world, activities performed by human has contributed to a bad influence on the earth
as well as
animals
around the globe.
Due to
this
, a significant number of
people
out there hold the perception that
this
practice can not be curbed,
by contrast
, other individuals
also
share the sentiment that
this
phenomenon can be controlled.
This
essay shall totally endorse the latter view,
however
, the two opposing ideas will be brought to bear in the following paragraphs after which a logical conclusion will be drawn. On one hand, there are a myriad of ways
this
situation can be halted but one which is worth mentioning is enacting law.To explain
this
scenario, if the governments of various nations provide strict rules concerning
this
situation, it puts fear in the general public
as a result
depriving them of
such
habits.
For instance
, a plethora of folk in Ghana used to practise deforestation which had a negative effect on various
animals
.
Moreover
, Ghanaian citizens used to have non-authorized industries which used to generate an unmeasurable amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which
subsequently
led to the greenhouse effect.
Nonetheless
, after the Environmental Protection Agency provided rules and regulations,
this
habit has been stopped.
Hence
it is not of doubt that
this
argument has a lot of supporters because it can be regulated.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of reasons
this
trend can be difficult to manage because some
people
depend on it for survival
as well as
accommodation. To explicate,
due to
economic hardship, a significant number of
people
cut down trees and
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
them to various industries to provide for their basic needs.
In addition
, others use trees
such
as timber to construct houses.
Although
this
process causes harm not only to some creatures but
also
to the earth,
however
,
this
trend can be arduous to control as a lot of
people
depend on it for a livelihood .
For example
, the Environmental Protection Agency in Africa conducted research and figured out that seventy per cent of Africa's forests are at risk because of deforestation which
subsequently
affects
animals
as well as
other creatures. It is in the light of
this
that
this
phenomenon is a justifiable course of action. In conclusion, after analyzing the two contradictory views, I totally agree that damaging the earth
as well as
other creatures can be managed.
Nevertheless
, I recommend that the Environmental Protection Agency of various nations should educate their citizens on the need to protect the environment and other
animals
.
Submitted by mboadi211 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides examples; however, greater thought could be given to ensuring a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively restates your position, but the introduction could more clearly paraphrase the task statement and present a thesis that outlines the forthcoming discussion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow to your essay, but you should pay more attention to paragraphing. Each main body paragraph should focus on a single idea, following a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Transitional phrases are used, but they could be varied and more sophisticated to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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