Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#activity #impact #planet #animals #world #people #actions #change

the contemporary world, activities performed by human has contributed to a bad influence on the earth

as well as

animals

around the globe.

Due to

this

, a significant number of

people

out there hold the perception that

this

practice can not be curbed,

by contrast

, other individuals

also

share the sentiment that

this

phenomenon can be controlled.

This

essay shall totally endorse the latter view,

however

, the two opposing ideas will be brought to bear in the following paragraphs after which a logical conclusion will be drawn. On one hand, there are a myriad of ways

this

situation can be halted but one which is worth mentioning is enacting law.To explain

this

scenario, if the governments of various nations provide strict rules concerning

this

situation, it puts fear in the general public

as a result

depriving them of

such

habits.

For instance

, a plethora of folk in Ghana used to practise deforestation which had a negative effect on various

animals

Moreover

, Ghanaian citizens used to have non-authorized industries which used to generate an unmeasurable amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which

subsequently

led to the greenhouse effect.

Nonetheless

, after the Environmental Protection Agency provided rules and regulations,

this

habit has been stopped.

Hence

it is not of doubt that

this

argument has a lot of supporters because it can be regulated.

On the other hand

, there are a lot of reasons

this

trend can be difficult to manage because some

people

depend on it for survival

as well as

accommodation. To explicate,

due to

economic hardship, a significant number of

people

cut down trees and

sell

Wrong verb form

sold

show examples

them to various industries to provide for their basic needs.

In addition

, others use trees

such

as timber to construct houses.

Although

this

process causes harm not only to some creatures but

also

to the earth,

however

this

trend can be arduous to control as a lot of

people

depend on it for a livelihood .

For example

, the Environmental Protection Agency in Africa conducted research and figured out that seventy per cent of Africa's forests are at risk because of deforestation which

subsequently

affects

animals

as well as

other creatures. It is in the light of

this

that

this

phenomenon is a justifiable course of action. In conclusion, after analyzing the two contradictory views, I totally agree that damaging the earth

as well as

other creatures can be managed.

Nevertheless

, I recommend that the Environmental Protection Agency of various nations should educate their citizens on the need to protect the environment and other

animals

Submitted by mboadi211 on Sun Dec 10 2023

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task and provides examples; however, greater thought could be given to ensuring a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.

task achievement

The conclusion effectively restates your position, but the introduction could more clearly paraphrase the task statement and present a thesis that outlines the forthcoming discussion.

coherence and cohesion

There is a logical flow to your essay, but you should pay more attention to paragraphing. Each main body paragraph should focus on a single idea, following a clear topic sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Transitional phrases are used, but they could be varied and more sophisticated to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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18Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

422 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Your opinion

People have diﬀerent views regarding the importance of a building’s function in comparison to its exterior appearance. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that a construction’s purpose should be more highly valued than the appearance for a number of reasons.

In the future, nobody wiil buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people say that the main environmental problem our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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