IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #people #humans
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Plenty of
animals
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 are at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk of extinction. A group of
people
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 support that
animals
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 which are
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
people
Use synonyms
 should merely be protected. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I believe that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 needs all of the
animals
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 and each type of animal has an
inpact
Correct your spelling
impact
 on
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be direct or indirect. One of the reasons for my disagreement is the world needs
the
Correct article usage
a
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 known variety of
animals
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because different types of them
creates
Change the verb form
create
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 a balance for total creatures. The loss of them can lead to many disasters.
For example
Linking Words
, big
fish
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 eat small ones. If a group of small
fish
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, which is
Add an article
a
the
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meal of a special kind of big
fish
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,
disappers
Correct your spelling
disappears
,
finally
Linking Words
, the big ones will die.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of sea
animals
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 which are used for humans for different reasons. Another cause is that all kinds of
animals
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 contribute
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people's
Change preposition
to people's
show examples
 life. A part of them does that directly,
while
Linking Words
 others do
indirectly
Correct pronoun usage
it indirectly
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. Sheep,
fish
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,
cows
Correct word choice
and cows
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, are ones which
people
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 utilize for numerous reasons in their everyday life.
Although
Linking Words
 it seems like tigers,
lions
Correct word choice
and lions
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 do not help humans daily, they contribute a lot to forests
to become
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becoming
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 a balanced place with hunting
proccess
Correct your spelling
processes
.
This
Linking Words
 is useful for ecology, and
this
Linking Words
 process influences even citizens' daily life. To summarise, some
people
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 argue that it would be better to help several endangered
animals
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 which are necessary for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 assumption, because of my beliefs of all of them are vital for
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 and humans.
Submitted by humay.gambarova on

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