IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #people #humans
Plenty of
animals
 are at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk of extinction. A group of
people
 support that
animals
 which are
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
people
 should merely be protected. I disagree with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I believe that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 needs all of the
animals
 and each type of animal has an
inpact
Correct your spelling
impact
 on
people
.
This
 can be direct or indirect. One of the reasons for my disagreement is the world needs
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 known variety of
animals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because different types of them
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 a balance for total creatures. The loss of them can lead to many disasters.
For example
, big
fish
 eat small ones. If a group of small
fish
, which is
Add an article
a
the
show examples
meal of a special kind of big
fish
,
disappers
Correct your spelling
disappears
,
finally
, the big ones will die.
Furthermore
,
this
 will lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of sea
animals
 which are used for humans for different reasons. Another cause is that all kinds of
animals
 contribute
people's
Change preposition
to people's
show examples
 life. A part of them does that directly,
while
 others do
indirectly
Correct pronoun usage
it indirectly
show examples
. Sheep,
fish
,
cows
Correct word choice
and cows
show examples
,
for instance
, are ones which
people
 utilize for numerous reasons in their everyday life.
Although
 it seems like tigers,
lions
Correct word choice
and lions
show examples
 do not help humans daily, they contribute a lot to forests
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 a balanced place with hunting
proccess
Correct your spelling
processes
.
This
 is useful for ecology, and
this
 process influences even citizens' daily life. To summarise, some
people
 argue that it would be better to help several endangered
animals
 which are necessary for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. I do not agree with
this
 assumption, because of my beliefs of all of them are vital for
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 and humans.
Submitted by humay.gambarova on

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