IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a controversial discussion about a majority of citizens assuming that municipalities are regarded as the optimum accommodation,
while
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 others prioritising the
countryside
Use synonyms
 as the best living condition. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both views.  
To begin
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 with, the living condition in cities has the most adequate facilities. To be more specific, a city always contains a large amount of infrastructure and facilities, which can afford the general needs of dwellers, it can be referred to as medical terms or foods and drinks.
Furthermore
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, the modern traffic system in conurbations plays a vital role in guaranteeing the citizens’ safety. Traffic lights with organized road markings have been the major component in enhancing the transportation system, alongside applying strict rules can contribute to lessening traffic jams and incidents.
For instance
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, an annual-year research demonstrates that over 60% of people from rural areas choose to live in the city. The reason is the demands of living in modern communities and facilities.  
Nevertheless
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, life in the
countryside
Use synonyms
also
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 has its merits.First and foremost, people can enjoy a peaceful and serene atmosphere when living apart from cities, which means the trend of chasing money is no longer necessary.
Therefore
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, the masses can experience a slower pace of life
instead
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 of spending most of their time in companies.
Additionally
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, in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 the criminal rate is minimal. Since there was only a certain amount of people living in rural sites with a low cost of living demand, the potential of breed crimes is nearly 0%. Take Ninh Binh as a prime example, an investigation shows that the proportion of commit crimes is less than 10%, which is one of the lowest criminal rate areas in Vietnam.  In conclusion, life in cities and the
countryside
Use synonyms
 has its own benefits. Depending on the demands of different individuals, each living condition can be the optimum choice.
Hence
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,
this
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 essay has provided evidence to clarify the given opinion.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good discussion of both views. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a clearer overview of the discussion.
task achievement
The essay responds to the task by discussing both views and providing examples. However, the response could be improved by more fully addressing each aspect of the views and offering a stronger opinion at the end.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of unclear or awkward phrasing. Try to use more precise and natural expressions to enhance clarity.
grammatical range
Your essay shows effective use of a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice. Proofread your writing carefully to correct these issues.
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