The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The two maps compare the alternations of Grange Park in the year 1920 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
time.
Overall
,
it is clear that
there is plenty of modifications in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
periods, but the entrances of
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
and south of
plans
Correct article usage
the plans
show examples
remain in their location, and a rose garden
also
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
in the north-west of both maps. In
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1920, a fountain was located
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the centre of the
map
that is
replaced with a square rose garden which is surrounded by four seats
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
each
edges
Change to a singular noun
edge
show examples
.
In addition
, a stage for musicians was situated near the fountain approximately in the west of the
map
which is converted to an Amphitheatre for concerts now.
Although
both entrances in the north and south remain their locations, there is an additional entrance which is used for
underground
Add an article
an underground
the underground
show examples
car park in the corner of the south-east
map
now. It is noteworthy that the rose garden in the north-west
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
its location,
while
two others which were located in the north and south-west are removed and now a café builds in the north of the
map
. In the east of a public park, a pond for water plants and a
Glass house
Correct your spelling
Glasshouse
show examples
are replaced with
children’s
Correct article usage
a children’s
show examples
play area and water feature respectively.
Moreover
, all seats
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
situated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the empty space
map
are
dimilished
Correct your spelling
diminished
.
Submitted by behzad.tahmouresi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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