IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #phone #places
It is a common thing that mobile
phone
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 and smoking are becoming
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
 issues in our society since there are some beneficial and negative effects for it.
However
, In my opinion, I don't stand for the idea that
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should take the same case as smoking. If we are
loking
Correct your spelling
looking
 for the
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, it takes an essential part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our daily needs unlikely the
ciggarate
Correct your spelling
cigarette
 that having no positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our life.
Moreover
,
phone
Add an article
the phone
show examples
 is now
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 tool for communication and socialization in which if it is being banned to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 in some places
then
 it will make some difficulties even problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people who are regularly using
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 for
accepted
Replace the word
acceptable
show examples
 purposes.
Additionally
, there is no crucial reason why
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be prohibited
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 being used anywhere even in the school area. The kids
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 are very familiar with the application and its easy learning sources.
In contrast
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
smoking that having lots of negative issues not only for
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 but
also
 for others. It is common that smoking
Correct your spelling
caused
coused
Correct your spelling
causes
 health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 that may
accured
Correct your spelling
occur
such
 as sore throat and cancer and for
cocial
Correct your spelling
social
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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