IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is strongly believed by some that it is aim of parents to upbring their offspring how to behave in society

It is strongly believed by some that it is
aim
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the aim
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 of parents to
upbring
Correct your spelling
bring
 their offspring how to behave in
society
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.
Although
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,
people
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 who are against
this
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 opinion think that
this
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 process should happen in schools.
This
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 essay mostly
tend
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tends
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 to agree with the first statement.
However
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, both points of
views
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view
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 will be discussed. Owing to the fact that, in front of
children
Use synonyms
 their parents are seen as idols and it can be noticed that kids' habits, words and even actions are very alike to their parents' respectively,
people
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 who can teach future adults the unwritten rules of
society
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 are only
people
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 who are taking part in their growing. The observation which was done by Harvard
students
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 revealed that 90 per cent of
children
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 were noticed in repeating after their guardians.
This
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 statistic can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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prove
of
Change preposition
apply
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the fact that adults' acceptable
behavior
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behaviour
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 in public teaches
children
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the most effective way.
By
Change preposition
To
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 the contrasting perspectives, not all
people
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 who take care of offspring are able to be an example of ideal manners and
this
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 leads to
an other
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another
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 solution which suggests
to educate
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educating
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 youngsters
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society
Change preposition
about society
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culture
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and culture
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 when they attend their place of study.
This
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 could be
impactfull
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impactful
 if there would be no
students
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 who are not willing to do what
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 instructs. As long as schools are not the ones who are responsible for kids, there is
significant
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a significant
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persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of circumstances in which many schools will ignore
students
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 who
does
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do
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 not take lessons seriously. Analysing the all information which
were
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was
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 discussed before,
this
Linking Words
 essay came to the conclusion that compared to places of
educaion
Correct your spelling
education
 which sometimes can be not effective enough for
students
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, family is the best option in upbringing
children
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 to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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unproblematic member of
society
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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