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Band 7.5

Shopping is now one of the most popular types of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is irrefutable that going to the mall or city centre to buy stuff is becoming a recognized way to spend your free time, especially for youth. in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I will delve into the reasons for that and state whether it's a good or bad development. We live in a consumeristic world where people adore buying new products, especially clothes. And shopping is becoming the new trend to hang out with your friends and have a good time.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is mainly because purchasing new clothes and wearing them provides a sense of satisfaction and promote self-assurance,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 when a man wears a new suit or a woman buys a new dress, they always want to show their new clothes to the world and brag about it.
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, shopping can aid in relieving stress and blowing off some steam from our demanding life,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is because shopping centres are not only full of shops but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 have coffee places and cinemas that you can enjoy with friends. I think shopping is considered a positive development, It can improve the country's economy in several aspects like if the nation has a famous brand
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the USA has Nike and Calvin Klein and Germany has Addidas which exports their products everywhere.
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It creates several job opportunities for salesmen and designers. To
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 illustrate the impact of shopping, I will explain the situation
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 Indonesia which depend on the clothing business as a source of money. Indonesia provides manpower which makes famous brands
clothing
Change preposition
of clothing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
, if you focus on Nike shoes it will probably say made in Indonesia. To sum it up, Shopping is without no doubt an excellent way to spend leisure time with your companions and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is considered c0apital for the entire fashion industry.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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