It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Taking daring steps in life has a profound impact on people

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apply

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Correct word choice

because

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they can bring boldness and personal growth;

however

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, they can be disadvantageous because they cause health dilemmas, losses, and deaths. In my perspective, demerits exceed merits since they are far more serious, as mentioned earlier. Those who are risk-takers experience some strengths, like being courageous and holding personal skills.

For example

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, in Pakistan, various students, after passing their 12th grade, take an entry test for medicine and engineering. The majority of them fail the exam and decide to retake it after a year off and succeed in it;

thus

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, it prompts them. Adding

further

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, various tourists love adventurous places, like climbing on the top of mountains or going deep down the seas and oceans, which might be hazardous,

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nevertheless

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nevertheless,

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this

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gives growth to their personalities because they explore exceptional places and learn many things from them.

However

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, these people

also

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endure challenges in life, which include health problems like stress, anxiety

due to

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failure, loss of finances, and even death.

For example

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, people take the risk of getting into a partnership to expand their business, and they are sometimes deceived by their shareholders, who may lose their money.

Moreover

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, many students, after retaking tests, fail them, go into serious depression, and commit suicide.

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, tourists who voyage to jeopardized places may experience death.

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, drawbacks eclipse benefits. It is fair

to conclude

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that those who tend to take risks in life, personally and professionally, experience several benefits, like becoming daring and increasing skills;

however

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, they

also

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go through various weaknesses,

such

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as losses of kin, friends, and money, and get involved in health issues.

sh.mariakhanThu Nov 16 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting examples are relevant and fully elaborated.

coherence and cohesion

Work on creating a more logical and cohesive structure. This can be achieved by better organizing your ideas and improving transitions between them.

coherence and cohesion

Use a more varied range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

The conclusion successfully restates the position but try to provide a more detailed synthesis of your main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many children these days face difficulties to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this situation? What could be the possible solutions?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Only formal examinations, written or practical, can give a clear picture of students' true knowledge and ability at university level. Continuous assessment like course work and projects are poor measures of student ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water caused by both industry and construction. What are some of these problems? And what solutions could be provided to prevent this?