IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write about the following topic. Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#topic #music #role #society #form #entertainment #individuals
While
, some
people
 look downside of
music
, thinking that it is just a way to pass our time, others
instead
, see through the
music
 itself, and understand the meaning that it had throughout our lives. In my opinion,
music
 can be an important tool not only for understanding ourselves but
also
 for the
people
 around us. There are a lot of
people
, that do not see the greater impact that
music
 had on our lives. They argue that
music
 has no meaning because they think that its only aim is to entertain others since they compare
music
 to viewing some programmes on TV.
In addition
, for them, it makes no sense, it is just a sound in the background of everyone's lives, you can listen to it or not and it will not change anything. Others
instead
, believe in the power of
music
.
Music
 can change
society
 because it spreads important messages, it can be about different types of social problems, that we have in our
society
,
such
 as bullying or diets etc.. . It is through
music
 that we fight important social and political battles.
For example
, during the protests held in Spain for the violence against women,
people
 sang a song about the violence that was (is, I would add) happening.
Music
 makes you understand that you are not alone, that you are not the only one who feels in a certain way, it unites
people
 from all around the world.
Music
 brings sparkles when there is only dark around you. Provided all these reasons, I agree with those who said that it plays an important role in
society
 because it changes not only us, as a singular individual, but it shapes everyone, and
thus
 the
society
 itself. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 think of
music
 as something only to entertain
people
, I do agree with the other part of the argument, saying that
music
 has,
instead
, an important role in shaping
society
.
Submitted by cecconisofia2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: