The diagram below shows how cheese is made. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how cheese is made. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram displays the making of
cheese
Use synonyms
.
Overall
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,
this
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is a process that involves nine steps: acidification, solidification, cutting, heating and draining, adding of salt, shaping, fermentation, packing, and
finally
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selling. First of all, there is acidification, which consists in mixing rax milk with bacteria to create enzymes.
The next
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step
Use synonyms
is solidification, during which the enzyme is solidified and turns into curds.
Then
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, these curds are cut into small pieces, because
after
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this
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all these pieces are poured into a pot, where they are first heated and
then
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drained.
As a consequence
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of
this
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step
Use synonyms
, the previous curd pieces are turned into liquid, which is put in a basin, where is added a bit of salt, to make the
cheese
Use synonyms
more flavourful. The sixth
step
Use synonyms
, is one of the most important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it gives the
cheese
Use synonyms
, the shape that we all know, and all of
this
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is possible through a machine that shapes
this
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liquid into chees using a special stencil.
After
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this
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, the
cheese
Use synonyms
is fermented, and
this
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is the longest
step
Use synonyms
, it takes almost two months. As the
cheese
Use synonyms
is fermented enough, it can be packed, and
then
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,
finally
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, is ready to be brought to a shop, where it will be sold.
Submitted by cecconisofia2002 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pasteurization
  • standardization
  • starter culture
  • fermentation
  • bacteria
  • coagulation
  • rennet
  • curds
  • whey
  • curd processing
  • draining
  • molding
  • pressing
  • ripening
  • distribution
  • controlled conditions
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