The diagram below shows how cheese is made. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows how cheese is made.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
The diagram displays the making of
cheese
.
Overall
,
this
is a process that involves nine steps: acidification, solidification, cutting, heating and draining, adding of salt, shaping, fermentation, packing, and
finally
selling. First of all, there is acidification, which consists in mixing rax milk with bacteria to create enzymes.
The next
step
is solidification, during which the enzyme is solidified and turns into curds.
Then
, these curds are cut into small pieces, because
after
this
all these pieces are poured into a pot, where they are first heated and
then
drained.
As a consequence
of
this
step
, the previous curd pieces are turned into liquid, which is put in a basin, where is added a bit of salt, to make the
cheese
more flavourful. The sixth
step
, is one of the most important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it gives the
cheese
, the shape that we all know, and all of
this
is possible through a machine that shapes
this
liquid into chees using a special stencil.
After
this
, the
cheese
is fermented, and
this
is the longest
step
, it takes almost two months. As the
cheese
is fermented enough, it can be packed, and
then
,
finally
, is ready to be brought to a shop, where it will be sold.
Submitted by cecconisofia2002 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pasteurization
  • standardization
  • starter culture
  • fermentation
  • bacteria
  • coagulation
  • rennet
  • curds
  • whey
  • curd processing
  • draining
  • molding
  • pressing
  • ripening
  • distribution
  • controlled conditions
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