Most of people do not care enough about environment issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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The majority of people do not pay enough attention to environmental problems. I agree with
this
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idea because they are less carefully educated about environmental protection at an early age. Other people argue that individuals are fully concerned with issues related to the environment. The fact is that it has become increasingly common for societies to effortlessly follow environmental news everywhere on a daily basis through social platforms
such
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as Facebook, TikTok, and Twitter to raise awareness and go green.
For example
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, many environmental videos are posted on TikTok with content about volunteers planting green trees with the purpose of promoting people to protect the environment or about the consequences of environmental pollution, including global warming and greenhouse gases, to alarm them.
However
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, I suppose that the main reason why the public does not care much about environmental matters
due to
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that a large of them are affected by a poor education from the surroundings, especially the study environment. A typical example is that many schools in some countries
such
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as Vietnam often focus on important subjects ranging from math to literature and English because they believe learning these subjects will be more useful in the future. The proof is that the lessons of these subjects are often more than those about environmental issues.
Consequently
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, children grow up tending to underestimate environmental preservation. In conclusion, environmental protection has been widely spread on social media, but it is still not certain that the public does it, so I believe that educating children to keep their surroundings clean from a young age is a necessary thing to form a habit later on.
Submitted by my.le.bbs on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, but could benefit from further development of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate, but could be more varied and precise.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some errors and sentence structures could be more complex.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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