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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that one should retire at the age of 60 or 65. Others say that people should be allowed to work for as long as they want to. What is your opinion about this?

#people #age #work
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Demography in Western countries indicates that there will be more and more elderly
people
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 in the future.
Due to
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 better healthcare systems that are available and stricter requirements for working environments, the life expectancy of
people
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 has risen over time.
This
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 has made
people
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 discuss whether
people
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 in their retirement
age
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 should stop working, or just the opposite, they should be more engaged in society and offered a chance to
work
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 as long as they want in spite of their advanced
age
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. On the one hand, an ageing population is gradually putting more pressure on younger generations who have to support elderly
people
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.
For instance
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, providing that there is an increasing number of elderly
people
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,
people
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 of working
age
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 will have to pay more tax to provide elderly
people
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 with access to healthcare services and to enable the government to support them financially.
Therefore
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, allowing
people
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 at the
age
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 of retirement to
work
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 as long as they want to would be something that both the government and pensioners could benefit from.
On the other hand
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, the list of occupations that would be suitable for older
people
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 should be limited. There are many specific
work
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 tasks that may not be very suitable for older
people
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, especially
work
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 duties that require good physical fitness. A good example would be a policeman who has to have good physical stamina in order to stop criminals or even a firefighter who may have to climb on ladders or roofs.
However
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, it would be reasonable to assess a person's suitability for a certain position regarding his or her
age
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 individually and on a case-by-case basis.
To sum up
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, I personally believe that offering elderly
people
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 a choice to be engaged in
work
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 and to stay active
instead
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 of quitting their job is better both for the whole society and themselves.
Submitted by sth.kumar2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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