IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the chart below shows how frequently people eat fast food in USA betwen 2003 to 2013

The above bar graph illustrates the frequency of eating at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants among
people
Use synonyms
 residing in the USA between 2003-2013 where the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 is represented in a horizontal line and their consumption in a vertical line.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see most
people
Use synonyms
 consume fast foods once a
week
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 there were only a few
people
Use synonyms
 who had never consumed it or who consume it every day. From the bar ,graph we can see most of the
people
Use synonyms
 consumed fast
food
Use synonyms
 in 2003 than in 2006 and 2013. Less than 20% of
people
Use synonyms
 consumed fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a
week
Use synonyms
 and the highest number of
people
Use synonyms
 who consumed fast
food
Use synonyms
 was in 2006. As we can see 30% of the
people
Use synonyms
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a
week
Use synonyms
 which was the highest among all and among ,them
people
Use synonyms
 from 2006 consumed the most. After ,that we can see the number of the population consumed fast
food
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month was almost equal to the
people
Use synonyms
 consuming it once a
week
Use synonyms
. Approximately 15% of
people
Use synonyms
 consumed it a few times a year.
Finally
Linking Words
, less than 5% of the
people
Use synonyms
 had never eaten fast
food
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: