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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons (the causes)? What are the effects on society and family life?

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Many people currently decide not to have
children
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 when they are young and wait until they get older
instead
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. There are many reasons for these tendencies,
such
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 as financial affairs, and a focus on education and career. These could have some negative impacts on families,
as well as
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 society.
To begin
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 with, there are several reasons why individuals decide not to have babies early in their life.
Firstly
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, their financial affairs may be challenged
due to
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 the cost of living.
For example
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, both mothers and fathers may have to work full-time to afford the cost of raising a child.
Secondly
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, the culture has changed in the
last
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 few decades, with people focusing on their careers, requiring greater knowledge through higher education to be able to gain a high salary.
This
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 tendency might bring negative impacts on both family and society. The first impact is that having
children
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 later will increase health risks for the female, including pregnancy complications and birth defects.
In particular
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, evidence shows that women who choose to have
children
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 later in life have a higher risk of developmental issues for the fetus, and
also
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 increased negative risks during birth. Another reason is that parents who have kids later in their lifetime might experience a generation gap with their
children
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, as they might have different cultural references and perspectives.
To sum up
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, there are multiple reasons why people prefer to have kids later in their life whether it is the cost of living, schooling, and career, or they may want to first become financially successful.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend can
also
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 result in negative impacts on both families
as well as
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 society.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting details directly relate to that idea. Some points could benefit from further elaboration.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive. For instance, you could add statistics or studies regarding delayed parenthood.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have effectively identified key reasons and potential impacts of having children later in life, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.
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