IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the bar chart compares the male and female working hours in Australia in 2007

the bar chart compares the male and female working hours in Australia in 2007
The bar chart illustrates how many
hours
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 worked per week in Australia in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of
women
Use synonyms
 is less than
men
Use synonyms
 in jobs with 50 to 80 working
hours
Use synonyms
, and the highest number of both
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 were employed in jobs with 30 to 50 working
hours
Use synonyms
. In detail, most people worked 30 to 50
hours
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2007, less than 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
men
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 and 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
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. By increasing the working
hours
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 to 60 to 80
hours
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, similar to the previous group, there were more
men
Use synonyms
 workers than
women
Use synonyms
 ones, at one-third and around 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the pattern was different for people who worked more than 80
hours
Use synonyms
 a week, having an equal proportion at 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The pattern of male and female workers spending 20
hours
Use synonyms
 or less at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
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 was opposite of those who worked between 30 to 80
hours
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 since the majority of them were female, 15 to over 20
percent
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 worked 0 to 10
hours
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 and 10 to 20
hours
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 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these numbers dropped by half for
men
Use synonyms
 with the same working
hours
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. The lowest percentage of
men
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 belonged to
this
Linking Words
 area who worked less than 10
hours
Use synonyms
 at 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the fewest
women
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 worked in jobs with weekly work of 80
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, men, women, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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