These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays it is way more trouble-free for lots of individuals to visit several new countries for tourism than in the past.
That is
because of all the modern technologies that have appeared so far, as well as
the high-end hotel services all around the world.
Firstly
, these days, there are a multitude of hotel options to choose from, varying from the lowest of prices to the ones best staff and service equipped. By having from what to choose, of course
Add a comma
course,
this
enables people to travel
anywhere worldwide. Consequently
, anyone can travel
by car on
via an airplane with not that many financial resources, but still enjoying and having fun during the trip. Correct your spelling
or
Secondly
, the most high-tech and safe airplanes
have been designed, ensuring a safe and comfortable flight. Surely, before the Change the spelling
aeroplanes
new
built Change the adjective
newly
airplanes
, certain individuals could afford flyingChange the spelling
aeroplanes
,
but were really scared and sceptical of Remove the comma
apply
it’s
security. Now, the safety of Replace the word
its
airplanes
is definitely not being put Change the spelling
aeroplanes
up to
question.
Change preposition
into
Traveling
today, Change the spelling
Travelling
while
more accessible than ever, comes with several disadvantages. One of the most significant issues is the environmental impact. The carbon emissions from air travel
, in particular
, contribute to climate change, and the high volume of tourists can strain natural resources and disrupt local ecosystems. Additionally
, the sheer volume of travelers
often leads to overcrowding at popular destinations. Change the spelling
travellers
This
not only diminishes the experience for visitors but can also
overwhelm local infrastructure, leading to higher costs of living and displacement for residents. Over-tourism has become a critical issue in many iconic destinations, where the influx of visitors threatens the preservation of cultural heritage and quality of life.
In conclusion, while
the ease and accessibility of modern travel
offer undeniable benefits, such
as a wide range of accommodation options and enhanced safety through advanced technology, these advantages come with significant drawbacks. The environmental impact, overcrowding, and the potential strain on local communities are serious concerns that cannot be ignored. However
, for many, the opportunity to explore new cultures, experience different parts of the world, and enjoy the conveniences of modern travel
outweigh these disadvantages. As long as tourists are mindful of their environmental footprint and respect the places they visit, the benefits of travel
can indeed outweigh the costs.Submitted by acaitaz on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively and provides a balanced argument. However, to strengthen your response, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning a specific destination facing over-tourism could make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, there are a few areas where the flow could be improved. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, when introducing the disadvantages, a clearer transition sentence from the advantages would enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid language that might seem casual or colloquial, such as 'way more trouble-free.' Instead, use more formal alternatives like 'significantly easier.' This will help maintain an appropriate academic tone.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow and demonstrates good organization skills.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages comprehensively, showcasing your ability to consider multiple perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The range of vocabulary used is good and varied, which adds to the overall quality of your writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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