some people feel young people should follow traditions of their societies, others believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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One of the highly controversial issues among individuals is whether youngsters should adhere to their

culture

Use synonyms

and traditions or make decisions freely. In

this

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essay, the idea of the first group, which aims to preserve cultural identity, and the second perspective, in terms of

modernization

Use synonyms

and exchanging

culture

Use synonyms

, will be discussed. Given the

culture

Use synonyms

of any nation is an integral part of civilization, supporters claim that it is important for young

people

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to follow it.

Thus

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, they do not allow to erode the local tradition and cultural practices.

For instance

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, Nowruz, which is a Persian festival that marks the beginning of the new year in countries like Iran, is an integral part of their

culture

Use synonyms

As a result

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, every day not only is

this

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day appreciated by young

people

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, but

also

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all

people

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of different ages.

On the other hand

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, opponents believe that youngsters should have the freedom to choose, particularly in embracing different

cultures

Use synonyms

and

modernization

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. In fact, with

modernization

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individuals have many options for selection. The availability wide range of communication can help them to opt well behaviour for their life.

Additionally

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, exposure to different

cultures

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can promote understanding of

culture

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among

people

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from various backgrounds. particularly, if young

people

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have the right to choose, will gain a better understanding of the

culture

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of other nations, and

also

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apply diverse

cultures

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and different perspectives in their lives. In conclusion,

while

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free choice enabled young

people

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to explore different

cultures

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and make informed decisions

due to

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modernization

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however

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, I would argue that neglecting societal traditions and

culture

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can have detrimental effects. It may result in the loss of cultural identity, which holds significant consequences for the nation in the long run.

hongminh317Sat May 04 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. While the mention of the Nowruz festival is excellent, adding more examples could strengthen your case for both viewpoints.

Task Achievement

Consider expanding on how neglecting traditions can have detrimental effects more concretely in your conclusion, to solidify your argument and own opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, leading the reader smoothly from introduction through to the conclusion. Keep maintaining this logical flow in your writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. This can also help in articulating ideas more clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Effective introduction of the topic and clear presentation of both views.

Task Achievement

Good use of an example with the Nowruz festival to illustrate the importance of tradition.

Coherence & Cohesion

Logical and clear structure throughout the essay, making your arguments easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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some people feel young people should follow traditions of their societies, others believe that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society