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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Teenagers in some nations work at jobs while they are still in school. Do you think it is a good idea for students to have jobs ? Use specific examples and reasons to explain your answer

#teenagers #nations #work #jobs #school #idea #students
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 things are getting more expensive and poor people cannot afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.And people have no choice. Some
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
 have to work
also
 and go to school the difference between going to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job
while
 they are still in school
student
. Some have poor family and some parents
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 their child go to work.
student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 those home do
this
 work are more from poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. it is
nice
Add an article
a nice
show examples
 idea for a
student
 to have jobs. There are many benefits after finishing school they can easily dissolve anywhere and eat. It will be very helpful for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 too. There will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very
help
Replace the word
helpful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their family. But there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 for students to have jobs there will be
Correct article usage
an affect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can't bring good marks on
Add an article
the exam
show examples
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 they don't
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study.
Submitted by marytamang411 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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