Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

In line with the shift of time, there are growing concerns about bringing
people
from various backgrounds together through
music
.
While
there are a number of
people
who claim that it is impossible to connect
people
with
music
, I strongly believe that
music
could bring
people
together. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why many
people
claim that
music
could not connect different
people
together. First of all,
it is clear that
people
who vary from different age groups, cultures and races would hardly get
along with
each other. The primary reason behind
this
could come from the fact that disagreement and conflicts could appear from
people
who share different views and thoughts, so individuals could
also
have different opinions about
music
.
For instance
, arguments which could be seen from social media sometimes stem from cultural
music
, when
people
may be offended by other opinions about their own culture. On top of that, it is undeniable that not everyone sees listening to
music
as preferable, which could lead to an unenjoyable experience
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them.
However
, it is only valid to a certain extent.
On the other hand
, I believe that
music
might be able to connect
people
around the world together, and there are two main reasons for
this
.
Firstly
,
people
from over the world could easily get
along with
each other by sharing an interest in the same kind of
music
.
This
seems to stem from the fact that
people
might be impressed with
people
who share the same
music
taste with them. Since
then
, individuals would have positive feelings about others through many good impressions. Another worth mentioning factor is that places that play
music
could bring everyone closer by dancing and singing. It is no secret that
music
might create a relaxing ambience for
people
to enjoy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with others, which might contribute to having a memorable experience.
For example
, individuals, especially young adults, tend to go to hustle places
such
as clubs, concerts, and something along those lines to enjoy
music
, meet new
people
and make friends without paying attention to their backgrounds.
In other words
,
music
could help to bring
people
together
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
enjoyable moments created by
music
, After considering
this
issue, I have come to the conclusion that even conflicts could appear by sharing different opinions about
music
, I agree with the idea that
people
might get
along with
others by creating a relaxing atmosphere .
Submitted by thucbiapluto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: