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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given three pie charts represent the ratio of annual expenditure by domestic people who are
incharge
Correct your spelling
in charge
 in Someland between 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the spending on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
 had the highest proportion
whereas
Linking Words
 the environmental services and other expenses had the lowest ratio in the period of 20 years. The total expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
, transportation, and environmental services saw
noticeable
Correct article usage
a noticeable
show examples
 upward trend over two decades
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40%, 22%,
9
Correct word choice
and 9
show examples
% respectively. Spending on higher
education
Use synonyms
's proportion was 35% in 1980, 10 years later almost half of the expenses were on higher
education
Use synonyms
 which was decreased by 5% in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, transportation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 hit the bottom in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 inclined by 16% and reached the second significant expenditure area.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the remaining categories three categories experienced a drop in the percentages of total spending over 20 years. The field of K-12
Education
Use synonyms
 had
a quarter percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a quarter percentage
quarter percentages
show examples
 of expenses in 1980,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 group
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
 decreased over time and declined to 18% in 2000.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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