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Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

#people #house #apartment
It is believed by Some
people
 that residing in a
house
 is convenient,
while
 others argue that apartments are better.
This
 essay will discuss that
people
 have to share amenities in a building, and the benefits of opting for a
house
 outweigh the drawbacks of dwelling in flats. On the one hand, living in a multi-storey building has its own drawbacks because individuals do not have the freedom to use various facilities on the premises at any time. Residents have to book their slots in advance in order to avail of the services provided by the management.
For instance
, modern buildings provide facilities
such
 as gyms and
indoor-swimming
Correct your spelling
indoor swimming
show examples
 pools which have a limited capacity for individuals, which makes it difficult for the residents to avail of these services.
On the other hand
, residing in a
house
 has its own perks as the families have access to a backyard where they have ample space to organize any event. It does not matter if the
house
 is rented or owned, families or friends
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy their freedom as they are independent.
For example
,
people
 can celebrate the special occasions of their near and dear ones on their private property without interrupting the neighbours.
To conclude
,
people
 who live in modern buildings need to plan ahead before utilising the amenities provided by the management,
however
, houses are more advantageous because of the privacy and freedom.
Submitted by saurabh.dalal75 on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the question and presents a well-structured argument. However, ensure that you thoroughly address both advantages and disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment. Additionally, consider using transitional words and phrases to enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with an appropriate introduction and conclusion. However, work on providing stronger support for your main points by including more specific examples and elaborating on your ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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