IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession
#information #professions #k #salaries #hours #week #profession
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the salary comparison between the different professions in the UK and a table depicting their average working
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the data is that underground driver accounts for the highest remuneration but has the minimum average
work
Use synonyms
 hour per
week
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 nurses receive the least pay. The pay for the Underground Driver is unexpectedly higher than the rest of the professions
while
Linking Words
, a newly hired one receives 50,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and an increase of 1000
pounds
Use synonyms
 after 3 years of service, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a Nurse is the least paid worker from 18000
pounds
Use synonyms
 to 19000
pounds
Use synonyms
. Followed by Police
then
Linking Words
 firefighters. In more detail, surprisingly Underground Driver gets the least average working hour per
week
Use synonyms
, which is 36
hours
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, firefighters
work
Use synonyms
 an average of 55
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Police
work
Use synonyms
 40
hours
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Nurses
work
Use synonyms
 38
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Submitted by Anneya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, work, pounds with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: