IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for future. It is more important to focus on the present. Do you agree or disagree?

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It’s true that some
people
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 think that planning the
future
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 is a strategy unrealistic and a waste of
time
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.
While
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 I admit that fully concentrating on the ongoing moment is important, I highly agree that making
comprehensive
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a comprehensive
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 strategic
plan
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 in advance laid the foundation for concentration efficiency. I contend that making a strategic
plan
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 plays a vital role in personal development in the professional setting. If
people
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 follow the general framework to
plan
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 their
career
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 path, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 achieve their ultimate
career
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 goals timely and efficiently.
For example
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, there are
multitude
Correct article usage
a multitude
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options
Change preposition
of options
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 to choose
during
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from during
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MBA
Correct article usage
the MBA
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 journey for MBA fellows,
such
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 as consulting clubs, business case competitions, social events., etc. Without planning on
career
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path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
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 in advance to focus on one useful dimension beneficial to their
future
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career
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 success, they would easily be distracted and hardly make meaningful impacts in any particular area.
Additionally
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, at the country level, it is paramount for government departments to
plan
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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future
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 development and take initiatives to achieve the macro goal.
For example
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,
government
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the government
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 should take
consideration
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into consideration
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of
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apply
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environmental impacts for at least
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 decades to make sustainable
developing
Replace the word
development
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 strategies beneficial to
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation,
such
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 as encouraging
public
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the public
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 to buy electronic vehicles.
Therefore
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, making
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plan
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a plan
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 is not a waste of
time
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 but a necessary strategic involvement.
On the other hand
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, I can understand that some
people
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 argue that making
strategic
Add an article
a strategic
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plan
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 is a waste of
time
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 because of one old saying that you do not know which one comes
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firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
, either the accident or tomorrow.
Therefore
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, they insist on enjoying the moment
instead
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.
Moreover
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, most
people
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 who frequently
plan
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 ahead tend to be
goal oriented
Add a hyphen
goal-oriented
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. They would rather constantly
spending
Change the verb form
spend
be spending
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time
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 honing their skills than accompanying
with
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apply
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their friends, lovers and their kids. In
the
Change the article
a
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 long
time
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, their built-up intimate relationships would be faded and they might regret focusing too much on achieving their
career
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 goals when they become isolated. In conclusion,
while
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 I admit the importance of focusing on the moment and the downside of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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planning ahead, I still agree that planning the
future
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 is a necessary strategy for development in general.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally maintains a logical structure, but some ideas can be better linked to enhance the overall flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and more clear topic sentences to ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt satisfactorily by agreeing that planning the future is crucial and supporting this view with relevant arguments. However, there's room for improvement in developing your ideas further. It's essential to elaborate on each point with more detailed explanations and examples. Aim to provide a balanced discussion by also acknowledging opposing views and refuting them effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • focus on the present
  • wasting time
  • planning for the future
  • present moment
  • long-term goals
  • career advancements
  • personal development
  • financial stability
  • satisfaction and happiness
  • fully engaging
  • immediate circumstances
  • lack of preparedness
  • potential challenges
  • balanced approach
  • pragmatic solution
  • present experiences
  • paving the way
  • impulsive decisions
  • clearer direction
  • anticipate risks
  • mitigate
  • secure and stable future
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