IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

#job #friend #•describe #reason #•show #excitement #•say #salary #package
Dear Jass, I hope you are doing great. It's been a
while
 since we met each other. I'm writing
this
 letter to let you know that recently, I got an opportunity to work in an international
company
 and want to share my excitement with you.
Although
 my salary in my previous
company
 was well paid, there are a few reasons to quit that job
such
 as the environment being very toxic as you know, I do not feel comfortable working in
such
 kind of area. Apart from that the new location of the office was far away from my place.
Moreover
, I'm very excited after receiving a confirmation letter for a new post.
Firstly
,
this
 is an international
company
, so I got a chance to work with international customers which incredibly aids me in improving my communication skills.
Overall
, the corporate culture has made me delighted so far.
Furthermore
, The employer has offered me a handsome package which is much more than the previous one and
also
 going to provide me with various benefits. To be honest, my salary will be around 100K annually as per
company
 policies. See you soon and take care. Best regards, Tajinder Singh
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you develop each main idea thoroughly within each paragraph to provide a complete picture.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive devices within and between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Make sure you address each bullet point of the task fully in separate paragraphs for a balanced response.
task achievement
Consider extending the letter by providing even more detailed experiences and expectations for the new job to enhance task fulfillment.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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