IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, all cars, buses, and tracks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

#future #cars #buses #driveless #people #vehicles #passengers
Technological changes always bring new ideas
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 users' daily lives. One of the
such
 ideas
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 transportation facilities can be used without a pilot in the future.
Therefore
, individuals only take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in the system as by-passers. Autopilot
macchines
Correct your spelling
machines
 may be a beneficial concept for the future.
Moreover
, it promotes the reduced rate of accidents related to human errors and the automobile sharing ability. Many car accidents happen
due to
 human errors
such
 as
unsufficiant
Correct your spelling
insufficient
 sleep or decreased attention to
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
. If
drivers
 lost their attention
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
, they can easily hit other cars or even passengers. With the help of autopilot, these situations may
be dramatically fall
Change the verb form
dramatically fall
show examples
 down.
In addition
 to
this
, automobiles might provide sharing system for an individual car. The artificial intelligence of autopilots can provide a cyber driver who is working full-time without a break.
As a result
, households do not have to have more than a car with an autopilot.
On the contrary
, the new concept always
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been expensive, and there may well be an adaptation problem for old
drivers
.
Such
devices's
Remove the s
devices'
show examples
 costs could be more than a
two-car-price
Correct your spelling
two-car price
show examples
, even
so
Add the comma(s)
,so
show examples
 some households will avoid these new technologies because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their prices will be
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
overbudget. As a matter of fact that the vast majority of people enjoy the idea of driving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private property,
however
, autopilots may
restricts
Change the verb form
restrict
show examples
 the
joyment
Correct your spelling
enjoyment
 of travel destinations. These
drivers
 may not be a fan of being only a passenger in a bus or
tracks
Fix the agreement mistake
track
show examples
. In conclusion,
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
 transportation machines may be involved in a daily-life in the future and without a driver position, people only be a participant as passengers in these devices. There are undeniable advantages of smart cars
such
 as
estimated
Correct article usage
the estimated
show examples
 rate of reduced accident rates
due to
 human errors and the idea of sharing transportation systems which are
outweighting
Correct your spelling
outweighing
out weighting
 the cost and the adaptation problem of old
drivers
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: