Some people say now that we can see films on our phones or tablet there is no need to go to the cinemas, others say to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is a debatable issue whether watching movies at
home
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is good or going to the cinema is beneficial for enjoying them fully. I agree with the former view.
This
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essay intends to discuss both sides
along with
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my own opinion. The preponderant reason to see films on phones or tablets is that it saves money. Through
this
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, people do not need to purchase movie tickets, and it
also
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saves them from excessive vehicle usage. Because it
also
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reduces the extra exorbitant costs in terms of oil and gas for vehicles.
Therefore
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, it is a money-savvy method, which ultimately lessens the financial burden of the community,and they feel more relaxed
while
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watching at
home
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.
On the other hand
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, going out to the cinema gives them relaxation from their hectic schedule. Nowadays, society has become more workaholic in the past year, and everyone is busy getting a hand-earned money to satisfy their basic needs;
due to
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this
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, they feel exhausted. Henceforth, going outside can change their atmosphere.
For example
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, most of Cineplex is built with other activities like bowling, restaurants , etc.
While
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going there, they can rejuvenate their mind more ,rather than staying at
home
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.
To conclude
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this
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, from my perspective, staying at
home
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to see films is more imperative than going out to the cinema.
However
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, at cinemas individuals enjoy a lot, but at
home
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they can get more options to see movies like Hollywood,Bollywood , etc. So they can get more variety at lower rates at
home
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rather than in cinemas.

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task
Your ideas are in the task, but you need to add more clear reasons and make the link between ideas stronger.
structure
Plan your answer: one intro, two body parts (one for each view), one short end.
coherence
Use simple words and short sentences. Use phrases like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'for example' to connect ideas.
lexis
Avoid hard or long words. Stick to common ideas you know.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling: watch commas, start with a capital, end with a period, and use correct tense.
content
The writer gives a clear opinion.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Examples about money and cinema show real life links.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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