Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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It is generally accepted that being a well-known person, superstar, or sports personality provides both sides of benefits and downsides at the same time. I wholeheartedly agree with why being popular will bring more advantages than disadvantages.
This
essay will demonstrate my supporting ideas throughout the following paragraphs On the one hand, the initial significant benefit of being famous is to have a variety of job opportunities. These
people
will have more chances to meet lots of communities including millionaires, because rich
people
might want the bloggers to promote the products of their business, and later on, they might become business partners or best friends.
Additionally
, they will have various connections, which will be very beneficial to them in their future jobs.
For instance
, if celebrities want to open a restaurant in the middle of the town, located in the popular shopping mall, they can call their friend to help them seek a place for rent without waiting in a long queue to get
this
famous space.
Besides
, more job opportunities, they can become rich faster than normal
people
.
This
is because they always have their fan clubs to support.
Moreover
,
people
tend to rely on famous
people
more than normal sellers because they think that all the stuff that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
reviewed by the influencers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
always good products.
For example
, the influencers have launched a brand new facial cream, and they already have their beginner customer from their fans, because these
people
want to support everything that their idol told them to buy, which is easier than the unknown sellers to sell the stuff, even it is a brand new products without any reviews. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above about good things from being famous can provide many chances even in higher communities or job positions. As a suggestion, all the superstars should be concerned more with being a good person in society to inspire their followers because they want to follow every intention that their idols have .
Submitted by sasinipapj on

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Coherence
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Content
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Grammar & Spelling
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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument by clearly stating your opinion.
Use of Examples
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, enhancing the effectiveness of your argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes your argument, reinforcing your initial stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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