IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
reading
Verb problem
in response to
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 your recent advertisement in the newspaper, asking for recommendations for the idea of renovation of the school. As I have passed my schooling at the same school recently, during my stay, I
always
Verb problem
have always
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face
Wrong verb form
faced
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 issues with the availability of seats in the computer lab. As it has always been
demanding
Correct article usage
a demanding
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 subject lab always remains busy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some systems were
also
Linking Words
 outdated
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 on work speed of assignments. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 improvement
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 is needed to increase the number of computers. I understand
for
Correct word choice
that for
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 the increased number of
machines
Punctuation problem
machines,
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 it is necessary to allocate specific space. To solve space
issues
Punctuation problem
issues,
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 you can
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
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 unused space in the library. By updating old systems with new
ones
Punctuation problem
ones,
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 it will be easy to complete tasks on time. For the purpose of both expansion and updating
you
Punctuation problem
, you
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 can ask for extra funding from the government education authorities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you can plan to create some sort of extra fund
saving
Verb problem
apply
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for school allowances. Hope you will take my idea as considered for recreation. Yours faithfully, Jake kale

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task response
Add a clear start, middle and end. Put one big idea in each paragraph and do not mix ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words like first, also, then, finally to show how ideas go together.
coherence cohesion
Make a simple plan: problems, then what to do, then how to do it. Give each idea a step.
grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes and phrasing to make the meaning clear.
presentation
Check spelling of names and keep a formal tone.
tone
The letter uses a formal tone with a proper opening and closing.
content
It shows the writer knows the school and what the area needs.
content
The writer offers ideas for action, such as space use and extra funds.
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